Running through it

Women runners weigh in on the role of running in their lives during the pandemic.

Hello everyone,

A few weeks ago in this newsletter, I wrote about how lucky we are if we’re still able to run during this period of uncertainty. In my work at Outside over the past several weeks, I’ve edited pieces about people running backyard ultras and ambitious time trials during the pandemic, and my Instagram feed is full of people tackling virtual races. But in my personal life, I’ve also heard from plenty of runners who are just getting out there to shake out and stay sane. All of these responses make sense to me in their own ways, and now that most of us are over a month into staying at home, I was curious to hear from other runners about how our sport is fitting into their lives these days. 

I put out a call and heard from a bunch of different women—you can read most of their thoughts below. As with other crowdsourced issues of this newsletter, it was fascinating to read the range of responses from different people facing similar circumstances. Taken together, I think this is an incredible reminder of the many purposes that running can serve in our lives: a release, a challenge, a distraction, an hour of normalcy in chaos.

Thanks to everyone who contributed! If you didn’t contribute and have thoughts to share, please feel free to reply to this email. I may include additional responses in a future issue. I hope everyone is staying well as much as possible right now. 

Amelia Boone

Oddly enough, my running has thrived during the pandemic. I’m using this time to work on the thing that has escaped me for so many years: durability. I’m doing that through consistent but lower mileage. So I’m looking at this time as a gift to be able to build a base without any races or events looming on the horizon that cause me to push training in times when I maybe shouldn’t. I've always loved running for the process, and this is the best kind of process-oriented time! 

Johanna Gretschel

I’m using mileage goals to keep me motivated and get me out the door every day. I am still pretty new to marathon training, so this seems like a good time to experiment and see how my body feels at higher mileage. For the next three months, my company has enacted a mandatory one-week furlough period for all employees. My April furlough is next week, and I’ll be attempting to run 100 miles after hitting 70 miles per week for the past month and (hopefully) 80 this week. I’m mostly taking it easy, and just enjoying the chance to be outside, so I don’t think there’s a huge injury risk. I am terrible at solo tempo runs and time trials, so the virtual race trend doesn’t really motivate me, but I did sign up for a virtual 5k to benefit my running group’s meetup bar. Details are here if you want to participate from wherever you are quarantined! And, yes, I am looking for a fast 5k route in Austin, Texas, so please DM me if you know of a good one.

Lindsay Crouse

I’ve generally run by myself in recent years—my non-corona travel schedule is nuts, and it helps me avoid injury—so that’s not a big change. But this period has felt like a reset in other ways. What do I do when performance is struck from the equation? When I have a goal race I’ll sometimes run upwards of 90 miles a week, and it’s very consuming, which I enjoy, but this has been moderating in a welcome way. (It helps that I’m in NYC, the COVID epicenter, so I have every incentive to stay inside.) So I’m running whenever I want, as far as I want, as fast as I want. I don’t even know what that is, because I never bring a watch. It's like a vacation that breaks up the day (and reminds me to shower). 

Arianne Bennett

Running has never really been a meditative or mentally restful activity for me—it has always felt like a parent I fight with constantly, but deeply want to impress. During COVID-19, we’ve stopped arguing. Running has become the one part of my day when I can be sure I’m not doing anything wrong, or worrying about what comes next. 

Rebecca Fishbein

I’ve been a runner for more than half my life now, but for the first time in decades, I’ve started doing cardio dance videos at home instead of running outside. My usual running spot is a popular Brooklyn park, and it’s still crowded, even as deaths in New York continue to rise. This makes running, my stress-busting activity, stressful. It also, frankly, makes running feel selfish to me, since I know I can work out at home and avoid potentially putting vulnerable people in danger. But I’ve also avoided running outside because somehow doing a normal, beloved activity makes me miss normalcy even more. It’s almost easier for me to accept that life is at least temporarily different if I change all my habits. We’ll see how long this holds.

Sally Bergesen

Running as metaphor: I have been feeling like we're at Mile 13... race distance unknown. And because the duration is ambiguous, every mile feels longer, harder, and mentally draining. What race are we running? How much farther? Will there be water, aid, bathrooms? And how do we avoid feeling like we signed up for a 5K but are entered in an ultra?

Dana Liebelson

One of my last long runs before the pandemic: 2014, 17 miles, raining, on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. An electric pain runs down the side of my leg; I ignore it. It grows sharper. I am “training” for a marathon. Really, I refuse to taper, stretch, cross-train, slow down, stop, listen to my body. I am trying to run from everything. By the time I limp home, I am crying. A few weeks later, I finish the marathon, but I don't run again for a long time. 

When COVID-19 spreads, the gyms close in Wyoming, where I live. The prospect of running outside makes me nervous. The virus, a wintry mix in spring, an elevation of 7,165 feet. The first time I go out, I run for a minute, then stop, gasping. I walk. I run a little farther. My IT band twinges. I walk home, stretch. I go out a week later. I am alone, and I feel lucky. The Wyoming sky is so blue. 

OK, I think. So this is running. 

Michelle Perri

Before the pandemic caused theatre (along with so many fields) to halt over a month ago, I was working an average of 60 hours a week Off Broadway. Suddenly my industry all but disappeared. The only semblance of normalcy I’ve had is getting out to run every afternoon. Some days are really good, but for every few good runs there seems to be a really bad one that follows. I’m learning to practice extra grace and a whole lot of gratitude. Grace for when a run feels irrationally hard—does anyone else feel as if sometimes the stress of the world is on their shoulders during this time?—and gratitude that (solo) running isn’t canceled. Gratitude, too, that I have a body that is healthy and able to pound pavement. Running has helped me apply the same grace and gratitude I give myself on the run to the situations and people around me during this time.

Sasha Whittle

I got my first GPS watch a year and a half ago. Before that, I had relied entirely on a Timex and routes I knew all the mile markers on. Once I got my first Garmin, I found myself heavily relying on and anticipating the vibrations and numbers on the screen. I left New York City before anything was shut down, with the full intent of coming back 3 days later. I left with a small bag: a laptop, one pair of jeans, two running outfits, a sweatshirt, and no Garmin charger. It became apparent very quickly that the few days would turn into months. I waited a bit to order a new charger, and spent two weeks running off a Timex again. I found great joy and freedom in not knowing if my last mile was 7:55 or 8:23. 

A lot has changed over the past month—I’m part of a virtual racing series. I ran a mile PR that probably would have made me cry if I had seen it on a finish line clock in place of my watch. Without the ceremony of a race and within the mess of the world, the time felt anticlimactic and, frankly, meaningless. 

Emma Spencer

I’ve pushed off the start of focused training in favor of maintenance workouts, so that whenever races start back up I'll be ready to go right into training. It’s been nice to have running take a backseat in my daily priorities, but it’s also uncomfortable to put goals on hold. I do find this moment valuable as a way to reflect on my relationship with running, to keep the parts I like and let go of what isn’t serving me. But I also love to be working toward a goal with my running. I love the confidence that builds up over the course of a training block where you realize that your big dream is more and more possible, and then getting the chance to live up to that goal on race day. Once the world is finally safe and healthy, I’m looking forward to focusing on working hard for my next big exciting goals.

Shannon O’Neil

My running has been different lately, to say the least. I had four races on the calendar this spring, all of which were canceled within a week of each other. Around that same time, I suffered a nasty flare-up of some tendon issues that have haunted me on and off over the past year. I watched the running world struggle to grapple with our new reality—planning virtual races and querying whether it was necessary to run with a face mask—while I struggled to get up and down the stairs without pain. The weeks crept slowly by. I adjusted to full-time telework. I canceled my wedding, which was scheduled for May. I grappled with feeling like everything was being taken away from me, including running. I grappled with guilt for mourning such relatively privileged losses. I did hours of PT and told myself that at least it was something.

And then the injury cleared up (as they tend to, when given adequate care and rest). I cautiously jogged my way through a mile of walk/run intervals, and it felt like just as big of an accomplishment as any of my marathon finishes. Yesterday, I ran four miles without pain and had to duck into an alleyway so that I could cry tears of gratitude and relief without worrying my neighbors. Who knows what the coming weeks and months will bring, but today I'm thankful that at least running isn't canceled.

Carly Gill

I’m trying to listen to how I truly feel each day—especially after all these years of training really hard. If I don't feel like running, I accept how I am feeling and don’t go out. If I feel like running, I go out there (carefully) and enjoy the heck out of every step and soak up every breath of fresh air that I am so grateful for. During all of these unknowns, running gives hope and immense joy. I’m doing my best to keep the pressure I can put on myself out of that, now. :) 

Marissa Lemar

Running before the pandemic required no thought and no planning; the biggest consideration was picking a weather-appropriate outfit. Now I have to make sure I get a run in before 5 o’clock, when all my teleworking neighbors shut off their laptops and head outside, crowding the sidewalks. Now I have to listen for runners, walkers, or bikers coming up behind me because I can’t be sure they’ll practice enough social distancing for my liking. I can’t fully turn my mind off during a run like before. 

Alexi Pappas

I am focusing on my little weaknesses, the secret ones, the smaller ones, the ones that will ultimately help me have a killer finishing kick or at the very least, to be more durable during what will eventually be a big marathon buildup (which I had to delay due to the virus). In short, I am doing more drills, less mileage!

Caitlin Phillips

I haven’t been doing much lately running-wise, and any sense of routine or consistency has gone out the window. At first running felt really indulgent and I felt a little timid doing it... but then I also realized how much my sanity relies on movement, being outside, having this time to process things. Last week, after an emotionally challenging day, I had (a very irrational) thought that I just wanted to run very long and very hard and ended up on Lafayette Street during what would be rush hour, running down the middle of the empty road in the sun and though I eventually ended up crawling my way to the end of the 20-miler and then feeling like I was going to throw up for hours after, I think it’s a run that will stick with me for a very long time. 

Maria Grace

I’ve never “needed” a race to stay motivated—I just love running. I don’t mind waking up at 5am and getting miles in before my husband and toddler get out of bed. Since the pandemic, my goal has been to keep my running routine as much as possible, so there can be something consistent in my life. While I have maintained the miles, I often wake up more physically and emotionally drained than ever before, and my runs have shifted to the afternoons or evenings instead of first thing in the morning. In the end, though, continuing to train with long runs on weekends and workouts on Tuesdays has been grounding and life-giving, and I plan to continue as long as I am able.

Monica DeVreese

I have definitely pulled back on the intensity of training and I am now focusing on really building a solid base for hopefully any fall races that may happen. Also, just getting out the door and taking a break from the computer screen and homeschooling my kids is EVERYTHING right now. Running has always been an outlet for me to get into a clear headspace, but now more than ever it gives me that little rejuvenation I need to keep my head up and mind straight for my family, friends and employees.

Leigh Anne Sharek

This pandemic as a whole has been about adapting. Adapting to working from home, to staying in more, to not running with other people. Our lives have changed; we are required to now live a new normal. I initially thought that this quarantine would allow me more flexibility to work and run and prioritize recovery and self care. However, my job duties have changed a lot to support the medical examiners and what they need on the front lines of this crisis. I handle cases where people in NYC have passed away, from COVID or other causes. I speak to police officers, doctors, and family members to allow these cases to move forward. It has been a lot, and I have found that, not surprisingly, running is how I balance my feelings and anxiousness toward what I am doing for work. Being able to go outside, and breathe fresh air, and feel my lungs and heart and legs, makes me so grateful and appreciative for the fact that I can. I have always considered running a priority and a huge balance to my career—but man, I feel that more than ever right now. So I have been running every day, working out when I feel like it, not putting any pressure on myself at all. I hope everyone is doing well and taking care!

Elle Mannion

Running has always been important for my mental health, but over the past few weeks it’s been imperative. When I wake up in the morning and run, it’s a way to start my day with a glimmer of normalcy before the daunting coronavirus reality sinks in. I had a calendar chock-full of spring races and some time goals I was working toward, but now I’m mostly running for the fresh air and to feel sane. I’ve begun running with a buff as a mask, and have been getting out even earlier in the morning to avoid crowded streets. It’s been fun to run in the middle of a deserted city street and pretend I’m out in front of a big race—I can't wait for the day we can run in groups again, but for now I'm happy to do my part and run alone. 

Heidi Caldwell

I’m embracing the freedom and solitude of pandemic-age running. With no race on the horizon, I’m running as much as I want, when I want. I’m lucky to live in northern Vermont​, where roads are quiet and I don't have to worry about avoiding other humans. Now that my schedule is super flexible, it’s been fun experimenting with different times of day to run—I oddly like the mid-day run best! I’m trying not to run too much during the week, so I can go on a fun long adventure over the weekend, biking to new roads and exploring from there. Being “forced” to adventure from home has given me a newfound appreciation for our local roads and the place I live.

Emma Veidt

I am a senior at the University of Missouri, and I run on my school’s running club. My team races competitively across the country, and my teammates and I were so excited to run our final collegiate race together at nationals. Now, our races are canceled, and so are our daily club practices. Because I don’t have any races to train for and teammates to run with, my running routine has gotten a lot less structured. I run purely for the pleasure of it. I leave my apartment without a distance or pace goal, and after running competitively for so long, it is a little freeing. But because I no longer have my pack of strong teammates hitting the trails with me, I tend to put off my runs until the end of the day. Instead of running every day with my team, I now run to take a break from homework or just to clear my head.

Veronica Jackson Graziano

I’ve learned that I’m really motivated by racing and running as a social event. I see some people on Strava and Instagram racking up workouts, miles and virtual races, and I just cannot muster the motivation for that right now. I’m currently running about half my weekly mileage from peak marathon training. I go back and forth feeling disappointed in myself, to feeling like I’m doing the “right” thing by giving myself a mental and physical break. But I’m really hoping that will change soon, because unfortunately, I think we’re in this for the long haul, and I know that pushing myself on the roads does make me feel like a stronger and happier person.

Becky Wade

I’ve gone through 3 distinct phases in the last 6 weeks. The week after the Marathon Trials, I was trying to recover as quickly as possible for the World Half Marathon Championships in late March… until that was canceled a week later. My focus then shifted to the track, with an emphasis on the Olympic Trials 10K in June… until that was killed a couple of weeks later. So finally, my coach and I decided to use these next few months to get stronger through hills, speedwork, and more time in the weight room. It took about a week for me to shift from bummed and aimless to relaxed and motivated in a different, non-urgent way. I hope to be both stronger and fresher whenever races do resume.

Morgan Meaney

Running has always been an outlet for me, and the activity I’ve fallen back on. That seems to be the only part of my routine that hasn’t changed—I still look to running as an important way to clear my head after being cooped up indoors. The actual activity, though, has shifted. Before this all happened, I’d wave and smile at passersby, or have a quick chat, but that is entirely off the table and I find myself actively avoiding interaction while out on the roads. I miss those small chats or comments in passing, and I miss the random conversations with the people I’m sharing the roads with. You never know who you’ll meet out there, and that is one of my favorite parts of running. 

Obviously, my mindset has changed as well. All of my spring races were canceled (I was supposed to run my sixth marathon in Pittsburgh in May), so I took a massive step back. Now I really try to just step outside, take a deep breath, and enjoy the physical activity and spontaneity of running, while maintaining a regular routine. No day is the same and that’s what excites me about running. Running in the spring is an absolute joy, so stopping altogether to prep for fall races was not an option. Taking in my surroundings and enjoying the act of running is the key right now, and it’s working wonders!

Drop me a line

I want to hear from you! Tell me about what you like here, what I missed, and what’s going on in your running life. (You can also follow the Kick on Twitter, and on Instagram.) Thanks for reading, and enjoy your miles. 

Molly